Certain moments in my life are imprinted in my memory.
They’re easy to recall with perfect clarify whether I want to remember
them or not. Any small thing can trigger them: a phrase, a smell, a thought. It
brings everything back like I’m reliving that moment, a brief scene in the
movie of my life, complete with how horrible I felt at the time. And I usually
felt horrible in those moments, because for some reason it’s the moments that I
want to forget that stick around.
Like in eighth grade when I had my first kiss with Jane Sheriden and my arm got stuck awkwardly between her head and couch: just thinking about it still makes me cringe. Or when Ms. Wittak caught me cheating in Algebra freshman year because I’d saved the formulas I needed to remember in a fake game on my graphing calculator, and she tore up my test in front of the whole class.
Then there were memories that were more significant.
The pivotal moments that changed everything.
Those I don’t want to forget. Now that I’ve had too much time to think about them, to replay them over and over again in my mind, they’re the things I wouldn’t take back, that I wouldn’t do over.
Because of Janelle.
She saved my life when we were ten. She anchored me by being who she was, and somewhere along the line, I fell in love with her.
In just about every significant moment in my life, she’s there. Whether she knew it or not.
1 comments:
Uhhhh dyinggggg to read it!! Ben ooh Ben *sobs*
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